


Pleasure

by memer



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, M/M, Mpreg, Yaoi, i actually hate mpreg this is completely ironic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 08:29:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3889465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memer/pseuds/memer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Kaneki's "death," Hide falls into a depression. But a certain hedgehog is there to make him feel loved again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pleasure

Sonic the Hedgehog had always been one of Hide's favorite franchises.

On his fifth birthday, he'd gotten a Sega Genesis and his first ever video game, Sonic the Hedgehog 3. He was, to say the least, overjoyed, and spent over 100 hours playing the game. And in his opinion, the games only got better as they came out. (His favorite, by far, is Sonic '06. Damn good game.) When he was feeling down, Sonic cheered him up. How he loved that funky blue hedgehog.

But after the Anteiku raid, where he was told Kaneki had died, he fell into a depression. He had only one reason to live: Sonic.

Hide became a shut-in. He didn't eat or sleep; he constantly played Sonic games 24/7 and got all energy he needed to live from those blessed games. Without them, he'd probably die from depression. Sonic was truly his savior, and... he felt himself growing attracted to the hedgehog. Never before had he realized how much _sex appeal_  the character had, and he felt himself stupid for not realizing it. He couldn't help looking at Sonic's lovely round ass while playing, or admiring the way his muscles rippled as he ran. He found his pants grew uncomfortably tight while playing Sonic games.

It happened one day while he was replaying Sonic '06 for the umpteenth time: his boner ripped through his pants, exposed and throbbing; and as if on cue, Sonic burst from the TV into the real world. Hide dropped his controller and jumped back in surprise - was this real? Sonic was even sexier in real life!

Sonic seemed confused as to what was happening, looking around confusedly. "Wh-where am I?" Hide bit back a moan at how attractive Sonic's voice sounded.

"Uh, I... I was playing your game and you jumped out of the TV," Hide attempted to explain.

At Hide's voice, Sonic seemed to notice Hide was there for the first time. He took in the sight, gaze lingering on Hide's thick, pulsating cock.

"Let's fucking bang," Sonic said abruptly.

 

* * *

 

 

Sonic breathed heavily as he took in the results of his pregnancy test.

A couple of nights ago, he and Hide had had wild sex involving, but not limited to, two octopi, a spiked leather collar, and five cans of soup. Following that night saw Sonic acting strangely; having little appetite sometimes and wild cravings other times, constant nausea and vomiting, and a desire to sleep all the time. Now, to find out he was pregnant? He thought males didn't get pregnant! But here he was in some sort of bad fanfiction cliche that disregarded the laws of biology. Unbelievable.

He'd have to tell Hide. He was unsure of what his lover would think; they'd only known each other for two days. How was he going to tell him? _Oh, hey, it turns out men can get pregnant, and guess what? You've done it to me!_ Yeah, nah.

Sonic dropped the pregnancy test and groaned, sliding his gloved hands down his face. How did he even fucking get here? Hide had told him he'd just dropped out of the TV, and that maybe his erection had triggered it, but how the hell did it even happen? Was it another fanfiction plot device? We just don't know.

Moreover, how was his own home world doing? Elise must be worried sick. But move over, fuckhead, he'd fallen in love with another human, one _far_ fucking smarter than you, _Princess._

 

* * *

 

 

It had been _one fucking week_ and Sonic was giving birth.

Blood squirted out of his asshole, and the baby squeezed through, tearing his ass apart, since he didn't have a vagina. How? How could this happen? This was all Sonic was thinking as the little egg plopped out.

It turned out they were triplets, but Sonic was too happy to worry about that. A single, happy tear fell from his eye.

 

* * *

 

 

Hide didn't mind that he had kids now. He was actually quite fond of the little half-human half-hedgehog mistakes. Sonic nursed them by having his nipples open up like buttholes and squirt milk into the demon children's mouths.

While Sonic was nursing the babies, Hide decided to surprise him. He got down on one knee, pulling a little box out of his pocket, and asked the hedgehog, "Sonic, will you marry me?"

Sonic was so surprised that he promptly dropped the babies in shock, who all started wailing in unison. Hide worried whether he'd made a mistake, but Sonic said, "Yes. Oh, yes, of course!" He grinned a radiant smile and hugged his boyf - _fiance_. They ignored the screams of the abominations (which they named Dildo, Shitsunami, and Fuckstorm.)

 

* * *

 

 

The wedding became a funeral, as all three babies died from screaming too much. Nevertheless, Hide fucked Sonic into the mattress that night, and they never actually cared about the disgusting little children anyway.

 

**They lived happily ever after. The End.**

 

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry mom


End file.
